Grape Expectations 25 June Max Crus (Simon Hughes)
At some point in the week these reviews and article will appear in The Daily Examiner (Grafton), Border Mail (Albury), Rotary Down Under (National) and Australian Petroleum Marketer News (National)
Q&A with Bill Shorten.
Q What’s your favourite tipple?
A Everyone knows I look awkward with a beer, I’m more your chardonnay socialist.
Q Your mother-in-law is no longer GG, have you cut back on consumption or quality of wine, maybe eat at home a bit more?
A Yeah, the local Chinese or RSL see more of us but the service is terrible since they cut penalty rates. Those 13 year old kids are hopeless.
Q What do you drink at barbecues when union bosses pop around? Do you offer them Penfold’s Grange or is it the other way around?
A I already avoided that at the enquiry. Anyway barbecues are off the menu if the Libs privatise Medicare. Imagine the cost if someone got food poisoning?
Q What’s Albo like after a few glasses?
A Much the same but after a few bottles is a different matter.
Q What about introducing a bill to link parliamentary salary increases to average wine prices? (They’ve risen less than 10 per cent since 1996).
A We’ve got ten year budget forecasts for that, we’ll let you know in 2026.
Q Planning any changes to the WET (tax)?
A Whether the Coalition are wet or dry, none of them pay tax since Malcolm introduced then to his Panamanian accountants.
Q Minimum wage earners won’t get a brass razoo from the latest tax cuts, average earners on $87k an extra $10 bottle, and Malcolm can buy an extra 100 cartons of posh stuff. How many can you get?
A We just scrape by on $360k a year, so that increase is really needed for…um…I don’t know…a negatively geared property…if we lose.
Q Should parliamentarians be breath/drug tested perhaps as an example to footballers?
A Once they privatise Medicare no-one will be able to afford medical tests.
Q What will you drink election night?
A I’ll crack a Zinga…in both senses.
Q What if you win?
A After I collect from the bookies, the Zingas are on me.
Q Thanks Bill, and assuming you’re Prime Minister tomorrow, if I gave you a bottle of Grange, say from 1967, would you tell anyone?
A I get Grange from union bosses, what about a Hill of Grace? Hang on, did you say ‘67?
(Zinga Wines) Zing Sparkling Blanc de Blanc $40. Nowhere near as frivolous as it looks, indeed a band of girls who looked like the label thought it was fabulous, but they thought it was a mirror. 8.8/10.
Zinga Wines Chardonnay 2013, $25. Circus babe (May Zinga) riding bareback on the label will attract more than 50 per cent of the population. Bill should have started spruiking this weeks ago. The wine is equally alluring. 8.9/10.
Rymill The Dark Horse Cabernet Sauvignon 2014, $23. Bill qualifies as a dark horse so have this on election night or a horse race and a rank outsider. 8.5/10.
Rymill Maturation Release Shiraz 2010, $45. How many PMs have we had since 2010? Good trivia question and this is a delicious accompaniment to trivia or elections. 9.2/10.
Liquid Rock ‘N’ Roll White Noise Field Blend (King Valley) Gewurztraminer Riesling 2015, $24. Gewurz’ comes first so presumably is at least 50%, but you wouldn’t know…and chances are you bought this for the funky label anyway. But I like gewurz’. 8.7/10.
Noisy Ritual King Valley Pinot Gris 2015, $24. Will King Valley be in Wentworth or Maribrynong? Surely that’d be a first, King Of Maribrynong? This could be among the first really good pinot gris too. 8.9/10.