Max Crus expectations’ explanation & nonsense

Grape Expectations 3 June Max Crus (Simon Hughes)

At some point in the week these reviews and article will appear in The Daily Examiner (Grafton), Border Mail (Albury), Rotary Down Under (National) and Australian Petroleum Marketer News (National)

I recently had a coffee with Max and told him sometimes I get halfway through his article and haven’t the faintest idea what he is on about. It was reassuring to hear that often he hadn’t any idea what he was on about. Oh for more like him in the wine game.

Make sense of, “Things that go beep in the night.”

Last week was all about the good things in life, but what goes up, must come down. What goes yin eventually goes yang and you have to ask yourself why bother buying long-life milk if it’s out of date by the time you need it?

It’s a cruel twist of rubbing salt into the wounded psyche of the anally retentive that just when things are going fine there’s always something to annoy you.

For instance, why does our washing machine beep seven times when finished?
One is fine, three acceptable, five the norm, but seven? Why? Who chose that number? Did that require board approval?

What would they know? They haven’t washed clothes in 30 years, if ever if they went to boarding school.

Somewhere it is someone’s job to decide such things, but who is that person? What’s their job title? “My name is Reginald, I’m a beep strategy manager.”

Maybe they’re consultants who advise many industries…“Those stupid, little airline milk containers should have 16ml, get onto that Smithers”.

But while we’re in the laundry, as if menial tasks such as washing aren’t bad enough, don’t you hate it when your clothes get all tangled up in the wash and in your efforts to untangle them the washing basket tips over and spills your freshly washed delicates all over the floor which you haven’t swept or cleaned for two years?

Really, who cleans their laundry floor?

Meanwhile back in the kitchen or galley, there’s sure a lot of pet hates to be had there, like used t-bags left in the sink or sponges on the tap, practices which have brought down more share houses than spilled or missing milk.

Worse still, what’s with those crocheted, towelly things with the button on them that old people hang over their stove handle?

The same people who have those used to drive Morris Minors and tuck their shirt into their underpants. Morris Minors became cool, those kitchen doilies will not, ever.

Mercifully, I cannot think of one gripe in the wine world, except perhaps the new marketing passion for splashing graphics of pretty, stylish girls all over bubbly bottles. What’s going on there?

Reviews for

Arcadian Sauvignon Blanc 2016, $10. ‘Arcadian’ could be an aberrant youth but is instead “an idealized country dweller” which fits with this Goldilocks sauvignon blanc – not too tart, not too bland, and great value. 8.9/10.

Arcadian Shiraz 2015, $10. Also once knew a musical collective named The Arcadians, but for $10 you’d be better off with a bottle of this. 8.6/10.

Chapel Hill McLaren Vale Cabernet Sauvignon 2014, $30. This is a comfort wine and thus perfect for Friday nights in front of a fire, the footy, the frau (or fraulein) depending on your age and marital situation). 8.9/10.

Chapel Hill McLaren Vale Shiraz 2015, $30. The clever marketers at Chapel Hill have realised that good shiraz, unlike cabernet, is pretty much ready to drink as soon as the grapes are sweet enough, so this is a vintage younger than its brother, and almost as good. 8.8/10.

Stoneleigh Marlborough (NZ) Sauvignon Blanc 2016, $18. Well, stone the crows as well as the leighs, this is pretty good NZ sav blanc that doesn’t make you turn your nose up at the proximity of cats, but is still unmistakably long white cloudy. 8.8/10.

Stoneleigh Marlborough (NZ) Wild Valley (Wild Fermented) Sauvignon Blanc 2016, $20. What you get for your extra $2 is a more complicated sav blanc, so enjoy with a diabolical sudoku. 8.6/10.

The Guardian, 4 June, David Williams

“and the beautifully pure blackcurrant of M&S (Marks & Spencer) Margaret River Cabernet Sauvignon , Australia 2015 (£11) among my favourites”

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